Friday, May 13, 2011

Bisexual vs. Pansexual


Bisexual – is a person that is physically and/or romantically attracted to both males and females. Its prefix bi refers it’s romantic and/or sexual attraction to the two genders.

Pansexual – is a person who views gender and sex insignificant or irrelevant in determining their sexual attraction. It is often viewed that pansexuality rejects the gender binary and at times, will be referred to as gender-blind.

Now that the definitions are clear, I wanted to talk about my own sexuality and what it means to me. I decided to share this with everyone because I believe that anyone who identifies as queer tends to have difficulties accepting who they are. And I wanted to address these two specific identities.

Since I can remember, I have always identified as Bisexual, however there was a point in my life that I took on the identity of Pansexual. Now, I would like to clarify that both identities were not taken seriously. People who view Bisexual view it as a phase, sexually active, their greedy, can’t make up their minds, are more prone to spreading HIV/AID’s, and the main one that I clearly remember is that, Bisexual’s are clearly mentally unstable and sick. If you think that that was bad, people who view Pansexual’s isn’t pretty either. The main stereotype that I continued to hear was, “Oh! So you can fall in love with a tree?” For some reason, people tend to believe that, if a person identifies as Pansexual, then that means that the person may/could fall in love when ANYTHING! A Pansexual can fall in love with a table or a tree? No. That’s just not how it works.

Now I could go on forever talking about the unjust of how people view both of these identities, but I wanted to mostly concentrate on more of an abstract point of view. I had always said that I am attracted the person themselves. I tend to say that “I’m not only physically attracted to that person, but I’m also attracted to their personality. Without their personality, then there would be nothing.” With that said, wouldn’t that classify me as Pansexual? BUT, I clearly am attracted to the person’s sex. Which brings me to the other point, can I fall in love with someone who is transitioning? Does being Bisexual mean that your ONLY restricted to male and females? This is where I get confused and frustrated with myself because I feel as though I don’t truly fall for the persons personality because I have to be physically attracted to them, AND if I don’t find a transitioning person attractive enough, does that make me a bad person? Why can’t I just be attracted to everyone?

Why does having a sexual attraction have to be so complex! Can’t I like whoever I want to like. And can’t I just have flings with whoever I want to have flings with, because that’s what we are really talking about. I’m talking about the fact that both these labels have to deal with sexual identity. AND that’s what all this is about…LABELS. I’m sick of them, and they confuse the shit out of me. I’m sorry, but I would like to be able to be comfortable in my own sick and be able to be with whomever I want to be with, without any judgment. IS THAT SO MUCH TO FREAK ASK FOR?

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