When I was
in third grade, my parents made the decision to become foster parents. Over the
course of the next fifteen years, over thirty children came in and out of our
home, some young, some older, some with painful pasts, and some who would
become my best childhood friends. I got used to the idea of having these
temporary friends. They were my siblings, yes, but I was conditioned to say
goodbye and not feel anything. It was easier said than done, obviously, but it
always happened—a friend would come and stay, and after a time, they would
leave. I never knew what happened to them after they left, but their time spent
in our family’s home was a memorable time for me. Before I even knew what the word “gay” meant,
and what that word would soon mean to me, a friend came out to me. My first
foster sibling came out to me when I was nine and he was eleven. He told me his
first foster mom didn’t like it, and that’s why they moved him. He didn’t want
to disclose his sexual orientation to his social worker, attorney, or anyone
else for fear of rejection, so looking back I think the whole allyship within
the foster care system was rather lacking.
So what,
you’re probably asking, does this have anything to do with LGBTQ issues in our
society? In the foster care system, children have few resources—foster parents,
lawyers, social workers, and teachers. But how will you know if those limited
resources will be okay with a developing identity? I read an article a while
back talking about this program called The Opening Door Project. It’s a project
that works to send out attorneys, social workers, teachers, etc. to different
parts of the United States to educate others on being an ally to LGBTQ youth in
the foster care system. So what’s it like growing up LGBTQ nowadays?
- · 90% of LGBTQ students hear anti-LGBTQ comments in school (on average, 26 slurs per day)
- · 28% of students drop out of school because of this sort of harassment.
- · 84% of LGBTQ youth report verbal harassment at school because of their gender identity and/or gender expression.
- · 25-40% of the youth who become homeless are LGBTQ.
Also, shout out to GLSEN and Lambda Legal for those stats.
I believe
it’s necessary and crucial to have programs such as the Opening Door Project
implemented across the nation because allies are so so important during the
coming out process, and when you’re moving from home to home, and you don’t know
who in your life will stay or go, allies are everything. When reviewing data
regarding this project’s purpose, the responses of judges were the most
shocking for me. Overarching themes included “judges perceiving LGBTQ statuses
as somewhat important in respect to safety”, “judges perceive no specific
placement issues for LGBTQ youth”, and others. I feel that these deductions
result in faulty placement of queer youths in environments that may be
detrimental to their physical and mental health.
Moral of the story: It’s a tough, tough world out there for
queer kids, y’all.
For more information on this project and initiatives like
it, please check out http://www.thekidsarelistening.org/
.
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