Well hello there.
My name is Heath Fowler, and,
just to preface, I am very new to the concept of blogging.
Before I get into
it an introduction is in order. I am a sophomore at the University of
Texas at Austin majoring in Social Work, and I have no idea what I want to do
with my life. I hope that through this blog I will be able to vocalize my
experiences and critically exam how they mesh with identifying as queer.
Thankfully Peers for Pride has granted me a good amount of knowledge to be
able to do this. I write this not only to spew out my thoughts, but also to
encourage discussion and motivate the sharing of other perspectives. So I hope
I do all right and some conversation will be produced.
I am taking this swimming
class. Why? Because I used to swim in middle school and I wanted to relive my
athletic glory days. It turns out I’ve been out of the game for some time and
kinda forgot how to swim, so now I’m just trying not to drown. Anyway, to get
in the water I have to change into my bathing suit. No biggy, EXCEPT YES IT IS.
Because to change I have to strip down naked in a locker room full of men who
are also stripping down naked. This is my first time having to do this, as I
found a loophole in high school that permitted me to avoid gym classes.
Honestly, it isn’t as bad as
I thought it would be, but there are a few things I ponder when I leave
redressed and unharmed. Like, what if they knew?
There is a strict code I have
observed as I navigate cautiously through this space:
1) Don’t
look at other guys. If you do, do NOT lose eye contact.
2) Say bro.
Say bro A LOT.
3) Talk
about sports, especially sports you’ve played at one point in your life. Forget
that you are not currently an athlete. Conversation about working out is
equally respected.
4) Talk
about girls and sex. AND ONLY SEX WITH GIRLS.
5) If you
aren’t doing any of the above just change, leave, and don’t speak to anyone. K,
bye!
Thankfully I haven’t
encountered anything blatantly homophobic or revolting, but, again, what if
they knew? This bravado of masculinity is not comforting, and I would not be
surprised to overhear comments that take jabs at others sexuality. Obviously I
am no athlete, and the other people in that locker room (no matter how badly
that want to delude themselves) are not athletes either. I can only image the
difficulty of being an queer athlete in this space, though. I would expect the
discomfort and emotional drainage to be crippling and inhibit bonding between
ones teammates.
This is just considering the difficulties of gay, lesbian, and
bisexual athletes. The complexity surrounding the locker-room environment for trans
individuals and genderqueer persons is something I would have to write a thesis
on! My point is that there is absolutely reason for LGBTQ folks to not feel
safe in a locker-room atmosphere, and I now get to experience it first hand.
On the plus side my
free-style is getting fierce.
Peace out!
Heath “Flawless” Fowler
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