Nothing makes my brain lose its cells faster than reality TV. Since I love my brain, I avoid reality TV, well TV in general. However, I stumbled upon the Real World (the mother of all reality TV shows) and let’s say I got a migraine from the intense level of stupidity from this episode. Dustin Zito, one of the participants in the show, was outted of participating in a gay porn website when he was younger by his girlfriend’s mom. Granted one of the problematic areas of the situation is Zito made several homophobic comments on the show. Clearly this is an example of him trying to compensate his sexuality and masculinity. What bothered me the most was the reaction from his peers. Here is a summation of their reaction:
1. He was viewed as a liar for not telling them about part of his past.
2. Thought he was a hypocrite for “judging”
3. Claimed they didn’t even know him, like he is a totally different person.
4. They were disgusted with him.
5. Considered him to be gay even though he claimed he is not.
I don’t know nor do I think anyone can claim Zito’s sexuality. He might be a closeted
Queer or he can really be straight. No one knows except for Zito. As far as the public is concern he is straight. That’s how he identities. Just because a man has sex with a man does not make him gay. Nor just because a man has sex with a woman he is straight. All it means is that the person had sex with *insert gender here*.
Sexuality is more complicated. Rarely, is a person 100 or even 97% gay or straight. Moreover, it is normal for a person to be attracted to another whose gender identity does not confirm to their sexual identity. Does this mean sexual identity is useless, nonsensical or misleading? No.
Our sexual identity showcases what a person is MOSTLY attracted to and it reflects our cultural identification. Also (in my opinion the most important factor) is what we are primarily romantically attracted to. Our bodies can be aroused by lots of things outside of gender. Hey, if you have that one spot you’ll like to get rubbed sometimes it doesn’t matter who is rubbing it. But that doesn’t mean your mind or your heart will be in conjunction with your body. For Zito, he might have enjoyed having sex with men, but he dates women. He has that sexual and romantic attraction to primarily women that makes him feel complete. This makes him straight not gay. Yet again I don’t know. This could not be the case, but this is what he is presenting to us.
Also, this shows that men just like womyn (in a binary sense) can be sexually “fluid”. With reactions like this to male sexuality, it’s no wonder men are sexually constricted by narrow ideas on gender roles. I find it sexist to claim womyn are inherently more sexually fluid than men. Womyn’s sexuality is not taken seriously unless it adheres to the desires of men.
I hope we can learn to accept others and part of that means accepting people’s identities. I rather disappointed in MTV for not providing the viewers with a case supporting Zito’s situation. But what can we expect from a channel called Music Television when it doesn’t show music videos or really any music? I guess we just all need to analyze our sexualities and be fine with the contradictions. Life is just like that. Well, from the stand point of those who are ot rotting their intellectual growth through reality TV.