Introductions and a bisexual football player.

HIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!

My name is Eric. I'm a 2nd year English major here at the University of Texas. I am in Peers for Pride because I wanted to learn more about the LGBTQ community and grow as an individual within it. I must say it has been difficult at times, but I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything. Not only do I have a wonderful mentor (Shane), but I also have a fantastic group of friends that I become closer and closer with everyday.


So, now that introductions are out of the way, I would like to introduce you to the topic that I will be blogging about today:
http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/01/williamette-kicker-is-first-active-college-football-player-to-come-out-as-lgbt/


The main point of the story is that a freshman kicker at Willamette University has recently come out as bisexual, and he is also the first active college player to come out as being a part of the LGBTQ spectrum. This article caught my attention for several reasons.

1). You, reader, may or may not be aware that the Peers for Pride cohorts perform monologues to facilitate conversation on campus. In my monologue, collegiate sports is an important part of my character and the issues he is facing.

2.) I believe LGBTQ visibility within sports is important because it helps bring awareness of the LGBTQ community to a very heterosexual and masculine world. I grew up with my high school classmates on a football team that constantly made jokes about being "gay." The comments they said were laced with homophobia. Part of the reason that I dropped out of playing football was because I did not feel "man" enough to play the game. The kicker, Conner Mertens, is a positive roll model for LGBTQ youth because he shows that LGBTQ people capable of succeeding in areas where they are not typically found; he may very well inspire a whole new generation of LGBTQ sports players. It is my hope that the ever increasing visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, and queer folk in all facets of the world will allow us to have more and more conversations and bring about positive changes in the world around us.

3.) I am really disgusted by some of the comments following the article. There was one person in particular who was attacking Mertens' bisexual identity because he said he liked dudes, but made no mention about liking girls. This commenter touted that Mertens was not bisexual, but gay, and went on further to say that Mertens should not step half-way out of the closet just to see if it was safe. Comments like these show the prominence of bisexual invisibility (where people believe you can only like one sex or the other) and biphobia. I think these comments also bring up the necessity to say that individuals for themselves, and themselves only, decide their identities; no one else can.

I hope you enjoyed getting to know me, and I look forward to writing to again soon dear reader.

Best wishes,
~E

Let's 'B' real tho.

I have so many feels as I think about what exactly I want my first post to cover. There are so many different topics and issues that have affected me in different ways, that I cannot imagine five posts will fully cover all of it. But, I have an inclination towards discussing bisexuality since that is what drew me to this program in the first place. I recently read a Huffington Post article that was released today (January 30, 2013) titled “Bi the Bi: Why Would Someone Not Want to Identify as Bisexual?”. It resonated with me in so many ways. Mostly because at this point in my life, I am not out to my family and friends back at home about being bisexual. Of course I know all of the stigmas and reasons that the article listed, but it just seems so much more complicated than just that.

Being a cisgender male that is commonly assumed to be gay, when I out myself as bisexual people are surprised and get uncomfortable. Ever since I was little I knew that I had an attraction towards boys and girls, but I never thought anything of it. At first, I figured it was normal. Through socialization though, I soon began to look at my attraction towards men as wrong. I suppressed it my entire life until the last two years of high school, when I first decided to accept it. It was so difficult though because I was afraid that maybe I was just claiming the identity to transition into being gay. Then I came to college and realized that I am perfectly comfortable with claiming bisexuality because I know that it is what I truly am.

The article states:

Be PROUD of who you are!

 “Due to a general misunderstanding of bisexuality, a large part of society views bisexual individuals as cheaters, confused, indecisive, greedy and incapable of monogamy; members of the straight community and LGT communities don't trust entering into relationships with bisexuals in some cases, believing that we will ultimately leave them for someone of another sex or gender; when in relationships, bisexuals are seen as the sexuality that goes along with their significant other at the time (heterosexual if in a seemingly opposite-sex relationship, or homosexual if in a seemingly same-sex relationship); and due to all of these aforementioned assumptions, bisexuals often feel left out of both the straight community and the overall LGBT community.”

This is extremely accurate, and anyone who is familiar with biphobia in the queer community and straight community knows all of this. The article also mentions how individuals are afraid of identifying as bisexual for four main reasons: stereotypes, biases, invisibility, and lack of inclusion. I feel like invisibility is a major factor, especially among male-identified bisexuals. The only representation of bisexuality in males, other than porn, is Brokeback Mountain, which is usually attributed as the “movie about gay cowboys” when in fact their sexuality is totally ambiguous and more closely associated with bisexuality. There is no positive representation of what bisexuality looks like, and for that I feel that people are super uncomfortable with it, among other reasons of course.

The way I see it is I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to men, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to womyn; for that I am more than comfortable to call myself bisexual. Unfortunately, due to the extreme biphobia implanted in our society, I am always met with resistance about my identity. It hurts every time and no less than it did before, but I continue to come out because I know that the best thing that can be done is increasing visibility. People doubt the validity of my identity when I claim that I am attracted to a man or womon, but I just see it as me having the capacity to love all types of people romantically in different ways and for different reasons. The traits that I look for in a man or womon are two completely different things, but that does not invalidate my attraction to one or the other. Much less the fact that I am unable to be monogamous. I'm also NOT attracted to EVERYONE. I think I'll say it again, I'm NOT attracted to EVERYONE. It's important to get that across, because that's another question I get asked. Ultimately, I plan to settle down with one partner (female or male or neither). I just dislike this pressure of me having to “act” a certain way to be bisexual, as if anyone even has something to base the actions of a bisexual person on. I think that’s when gender identity and expression come into play too, which further makes the water muddy. Being bisexual is definitely not easy, and recent studies  show that being openly bi increases your chance of suicide and depression, let alone statistics show that bi people have the lowest income compared to gays and lesbians. How many books do you know on bisexuality? How many organizations do you know regarding bisexuality? How many characters do you know that are legitimately, positively, and resiliently bisexual? How many times have you caught yourself doubting someone's bisexuality assuming that it's a phase, transition, or fake all together? Let's be real, biphobia is one of the lesser talked about oppressions but it's all over the place.

I just hope that with all the work that is being done on behalf of the queer community, other B’s will stand in solidarity and become recognized just as gay, lesbian, and trans* people. I look forward to what work I can do as a (somewhat) openly bisexual cismale. I’m a proud bisexual!

Bisexual celebrities

This week, the Advocate posted an article listing celebrities who were not straight but were also not exactly gay/lesbian either. 18 of the 20 people listed say they are bisexual (with one saying he's polyamorous/bisexual), while the other two identify as either "friendly" or queer.

Interestingly, bisexuality is the sexuality identity that is not publicized or "seen" as often as the other identities in the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) acronym, so providing poster people for this infrequently talked-about sexual orientation is definitely a step in a good direction, I'd say.

You can read the Advocate article by clicking here: Not Gay, Not Lesbian, But...

And in case you don't want to click through all 21 slides to see who's on the list, here is the list of the 20 people, their claim to fame, their orientation, and where they said it. (To read the quote where they out themselves, you'll have to click on the article itself.)

• Megan Fox (actress) - Bisexual [ - Esquire Magazine]
• Duncan James (lead singer of boyband Blue) - Bisexual [ - Daily Mail] (pictured right)
• Lady Gaga (singer) - Bisexual - [Barbara Walters Interview]
• Sia (singer) - "Friendly" [ - The Advocate]
• Mika (singer) - Bisexual [ - Gay and Night Magazine]
• Ke$ha (singer) - Bisexual [ - Out.com]
• Michael Urie (actor, Ugly Betty) - Queer [ - The Advocate]

• Fergie (singer) - Bisexual [ - The Advocate]
• Jenna Jameson (porn star) - Bisexual [ - Rolling Stone]
• Mike Manning (reality TV star, The Real World D.C.) - Bisexual [ - Metro Weekly]
• Kristanna Loken (actress, Terminator 3) - Bisexual [ - AfterEllen.com] (pictured left)
  
• Andy Dick (actor, comedian) - Bisexual [ - Tyra Banks Interview]
• Madison Hildebrand (reality show personality, Million Dollar Listing) - Polyamorous/Bisexual [ - Edge Boston]

• Margaret Cho (actress, comedian) - Bisexual [ - The New York Times] (pictured right)
  
• David Bowie (singer) - Bisexual [ - Playboy]
• Michael Stipe (musician) - Bisexual [ - BBC News]
• Saffron Burrows (actress) - Bisexual [ - AfterEllen.com]
• Billie Joe Armstrong (musician, Green Day) - Bisexual [ - The Advocate]
• Ariel Stein (reality show personality, Miami Social) - Bisexual [ - Out.com]
• Alex Ebert (singer, Ima Robot) - Bisexual [ - Out ]