The year is coming to a close, and as I continue my
desperate hunt for summer internships I’ve come across a local Austin sociology
research center. I was poking around their website, trying to get a feel for
their interests and politics and at first glance I was really excited. I
refreshed and caught a glimpse of the word asexuality and my excitement
ratcheted up another notch. Asexuality is not an identity widely discussed in
any circle, LGBTQ or otherwise. As a queer identity, it’s not even in the standard
acronym. I was excited that someone out in the world wanted to give asexuality
visibility that it sorely needs and was impressed that it didn’t seem to be
from an LGBTQ source.
Unfortunately, when I got a chance later to actually read a
lot of the research, it became clear that the political agenda of the research
center was not one I shared, and only chose to highlight asexuality as a means
to erase it. But it got me thinking. It was interesting that of the maybe two
times I’ve heard asexual identities mentioned this year one was by a group
intensely opposed to it. If we’re not talking about asexuality we’re allowing
people to make claims about it that devalue lived experiences. And while there
is active (and needed) talk of bisexuality erasure asexuality isn’t even
present in our discourse. It’s an identity so seldom brought up that its
erasure occurs without many even noticing.
The asexual visibility and education network (AVEN) defines asexuality
as, “someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Unlike celibacy, which
people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are... There is
considerable diversity among the asexual community; each asexual person
experiences things like relationships, attraction, and arousal somewhat
differently.”
Through my experience with friends who identify as asexual
and going to the FAQs on AVEN’s website, it seems pertinent to clear up a few common
misconceptions. Asexuality is an identity. It does not have to the result any
sort of sexual assault and does not mean that the person does not know how to
love. It is not merely celibacy and does not mean that asexual people can’t
have relationships. The most important aspect I’ve experienced is that
asexuality is, like most identities, very complex and individual, and changes
from person to person.
Asexuality is only one of many identities that are rarely
discussed and one of an even greater number of identities that experience
erasure. But it’s our duty as allies of
other human beings to recognize identities, educate ourselves, and make space
for them in the conversation. I thought it was appropriate to end my blog
posting this way, bringing attention to an identity and continuing to grow and
learn in my social justice journey. It’s been exhilarating and exhausting and I’m
excited that I now have the basis to continue on my journey and grow even more.
Ever since my roommate brought her TV to our apartment we've begun a nightly ritual. At 10pm we turn on Comedy Central for the Daily Show and watch straight on through the Colbert Report and @Midnight. I've never before followed this weekday lineup, but it's quickly becoming something I look forward to. We all have our favorite parts, and I'm definitely partial to the interviews (though the puns are a very close second ^.^). This past Tuesday, Stephen Colbert interviewed Janet Mock, an advocate for trans women and author of the New York Times bestseller Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More. Watching the interview, I immediately began composing a PfP blog post about the effect of satire on social justice education. While this topic is hasn't gotten any less interesting, researching Janet Mock brought up feelings on allyship that were much more immediate. (I encourage everyone to watch the Colbert interview anyway here). Before Ms. Mock was on the Colbert Report she appeared in two controversial segments on Piers Morgan Tonight. The first segment can be seen here where she was interviewed about her memoir and her life as a trans woman. In the interview Piers Morgan repeatedly mentioned that she "was born a boy" and focused most of the interview on the experience of her transition. Portraying to Mr. Morgan that everything went well in the studio, Ms. Mock later used twitter to express her disappointment of the sensationalist treatment of her story and of Morgan's misgendering her. With Mock's tweet came a torrent of backlash against Morgan from her supporters. Piers Morgan fought back, also via twitter, and eventually invited her back to the show.
"Come back on my show again tonight @janetmock and let's debate my supposed 'offensiveness' live on air."
Rather than pointing fingers at who was right and who was wrong, this second segment is what I really want to talk about. Piers Morgan starts the interview by defending himself, citing his support for "gay rights, gay marriage rights, and transgender rights" and asks Janet Mock to explain "why I've had to go through this" ("this" being the twitter "abuse"). And then he proceeds to defend himself for another minute and a half (an extraordinary amount of time in the 8 second sound bite world of TV) before he lets her answer. The rest of the interview goes downhill from there. It's obvious that Morgan is way more interested in defending his position than listening to Mock, repeating the same statements again and again regardless of what Janet Mock is actually saying. This tweet of his nicely summarizes his portion of the interview:
"As for all the enraged transgender supporters, look at how STUPID you're being. I'm on your side, you dimwits. @janetmock"
Ever since I started my social justice journey I've learned about taking up space. I've learned that to be an ally to any community is to let that community speak for themselves. They get to define their goals, their needs, and their direction because these are choices that will affect their lives, not yours. I've learned that to be a good ally is to listen and to watch the amount of space you're taking up. I've always loved the idea of listening; I tend to be a quiet person that likes to collect different perspectives and I would think that the most pertinent perspectives in being an ally are those for whom you are showing support. After all, they're the ones who either feel supported by you or don't. Now, I understand that everyone makes mistakes, and it's important to accept those mistakes with grace. What could have been a teachable moment ended in a verbal sparing match that was very difficult to watch. Honestly, what struck me most about the interview was Morgan's insecurity. He was so worried about his reputation as an ally that he let his relationship with the transgender community deteriorate. In other words, he was so worried about losing his 'ally card' that he embodied the exact opposite of what an ally represents, or as Merriam Webster defines, "to join (yourself) with another person, group, etc., in order to get or give support". To read up on Janet Mock and her work here is a link to her website.
Friday, April 6, 2012
I've been avoiding writing about Agnes Torres Sulca for almost a month now. For those of you who don't know, Agnes Torres was a Trans* activist in Puebla, Mexico who was found murdered on March 10. Her Twitter account is active until the day of her disappearance, with a link to an interview she did being the final post. Agnes was a psychologist, an activist, and an academic. She was one of the most prominent advocates for Queer people in Mexico, and Mexican authorities went from writing off her death as a crime of passion to stating that the motive behind her murder was the theft of her car, not hatred, not transphobia.
[Agnes Torres Sulca]
I didn't want to write about this because I didn't want to add to the perception that Trans* people, especially Trans* women, are all victims. I didn't want to add to that narrative and that perspective, especially if other Trans* people are going to internalize it. There's a strong belief that to be Trans* is to be completely powerless, to be dependent on some cisperson for support through our lives, and that's shown in just about every representation of a Trans* person that I can think of. Every movie, almost every book, I think with the exception of Leslie Feinberg's "Drag King Dreams", has us crying to and leaning on some tolerant cisperson who sits by and listens.
The fact is that Trans* people are being killed and no one seems to care. We're being killed directly, through knives and guns and fists, and we're being killed indirectly, by being denied houses, medical care, and jobs. And sadly, that's never far from my mind. The fact that almost half the names I read in online obituaries are Latin@ names, that half the bodies and faces shown during Trans* Day of Remembrance belong to someone who looks like me doesn't help. And their ages, nineteen, twenty-three, twenty-five, twenty-eight, only add to the weight in my chest. It doesn't look like people like me make it to thirty.
So here is the point at which, you, cispeople, are supposed to start doing something. One of our assignments in Peers for Pride was to interview people on being what being a good ally means, and I received several responses that were simply "Being there for my friend to talk to". Let me make this abundantly clear: that is not being an ally, that merely is being a decent friend. If you want to be an ally to Trans* people, if you consider yourself an ally to Trans* people you're going to have to start doing more than the bare minimum, because for us it comes down to a matter of life and death. You need to create spaces for us, to begin with. You need to give us a part in communities and in families. This is the first step. Trans* people need places to organize and places to create.
Those of you who organize, on any level, need to realize that Trans* people are not some abstraction, not some target population for another group or social worker, we are part of your community! We share your struggles against racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, and we need voices in those spaces and those movements. And we need you to start using your voices to help us. We are strong, we are capable, but we are few and we are scattered, we need as much help with our struggle as we can get.
And to Trans* people: we need to unite. There is no other option. We need to fight for and work for one another, we need to work on loving one another, because without that we are simply a group of people who share marginalizations and medical histories. It is my sincere belief that Trans* people, all Trans* people, have a responsibility to create a Trans* community and to do everything they can to advance this community, because failure to do so will result in more deaths, more violence, and less hope.
And neither cispeople nor Trans*people should be allowed to forget those who have passed on. They are more than faces to be gawked at during a memorial service, or names to be read in a litany at Day of Remembrance, they are a part of our family, they were sisters, brothers, siblings, lovers, and they deserve at the very least the justice that every human being deserves. Never let us forget that, and never let us forget them.
"Lucky for me, I ended up with a brother whose favorite color is pink. Painting toenails is so much more fun when its pissing off half the nation."
I went home this past weekend to visit my family and best friend. I had a wonderful time. I’m happiest when I’m with my family, they understand me. They’re a group of people that are wired to love you forever. I know that they will always be there for me, through thick and thin my family has always had my back.
I’m especially close with my baby brother and have been since we were little babies. He is two years younger than me and my best friend.
He's is senior in our small hometown high school. He is 6’4’’, an amazing soccer player and football kicker, intelligent, hilarious, handsome (if I may say so myself) and recently crowned PROM KING. (A big deal in our small town and I was so proud of him!!!:)
After saying our hellos, everyone was doing their own thing. My little brother and I began looking through travel maps. (We’re going backpacking in Europe for two weeks. I’m so excited!)
In the middle of our search I remembered an idea I had.
Me- “Micah, can I paint your toenails pink and take a picture? I wanna put it on facebook.”
Micah- “Sure.”
He didn’t even blink. He just agreed to it. He wasn’t afraid of having his huge ass feet covered with pink toenail polish, or even having a picture posted of it on facebook. He wasn’t scared of having friends make fun of him, calling him gay, or other homophobic slurs. He just said yes.
And after I explained to him the meaning behind the picture (The J. Crew advertisement that has recently made a big ruckus, he was actually excited to take the picture.
Here's a link if you want more info about this ad:
He used to use gay slurs frequently and made fun of the ally activities that I participated in. He made jokes about me and about different members of the LGBTQ umbrella. I would have talks with him about using the word gay and his other harmful actions, and he would just blow me off. We grew up in a small town with VERY unwelcoming people. LGBTQA people are NOT supported in our community and even though our family is very welcoming, he's been surrounded by people like that since he was 5.
But in the past few months, as our conversations have gotten deeper and I’ve been sharing some of the links and information I’ve gained in Peers for Pride, he’s grown up sooo much.
In the society we live in it’s so hard to stay positive sometimes. I feel like 95% of the time all we speak about is negative news events. Sometimes I just can’t deal with it anymore. I just want to be happy for a few minutes.
We must take time in our hectic, stressful, and sometimes negative days and be grateful for the wonderful things we have in our LGBTQA community. We must appreciate the small achievements we make each day as a community. I don’t suggest ignoring the negativity, because for it to change, we need to acknowledge it. However, I don’t want out world to be filled with triggering events.
We are a community full of wonderful people, all with wonderful things going on in our lives. And we deserve to be happy.
When I was home, I was helping my brother fill out his college roommate application. One part asked if he preferred the sexuality of his future roommate, he clicked no. He now even posts positive links and statuses about the LGBTQA community in his facebook.
What a small moment, but what a large gesture. My little brother is growing up. He’s becoming a loving and understanding ally. I can’t wait to see what the next few years bring him and words cannot express how proud of him I am.
Watch the film and let's break it down. Please add comments if you’ve got thoughts on the topic.
For reference: LGBTQIAA refers to “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Ally...” There are some more letters in the alphabet soup… but I think this should suffice for the moment.
First the speaker, Bruce, wants to make sure we're not offended. "I'm not being prejudiced." Ok... how many times have we heard this phrase? "I'm not prejudiced, but I just don't think interracial marriages are good for society.... but I just don't think women are capable of taking on leadership roles in government... but I just don't like the idea of poor people living next door..." That's totally fair, right? We shouldn't be offended by anything as long as it follows a direction not to be. "Don't be offended, I just don't think straight people should be allowed to reproduce and indoctrinate their children in their 'breeder' ways. They're overpopulating the planet! Destroying our environment!" Really? “Don’t be offended.” Does Bruce think that's a rational preface?
We've also heard the "I'm not racist... my best friend in fourth grade was black," from white people trying to assert their "openness." These feeble justifications are always directed from those groups with privilege to those without. You never hear, "I don't hate people of other religions, I work with a guy who's Christian." It's the same thing with Bruce, " I've had many transgendered friends."
Just because people have the same identity-marker, doesn't mean they share the same opinions. When you say transgender, I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean anyone who doesn't identify as "man" or "woman" including genderqueer, intersex, transexual, etc. Or are you referring to a specific segment of non-binary-identified individuals? In Bruce's case, he is talking about MTFs and FTMs and telling everyone else they can't use the label transgender.
That's not cool. It's not your identity (from what I gather). You can't tell people how they can and cannot label themselves. You don't get to decide when someone is or isn't "transitioned." People get to decide that for themselves. Transitioning is a process that only the person going though it can understand. It's like college. My parents say I won't be done until I finish my pre-med classes, whereas, for me, I know that my liberal arts degree will be just enough for what I want to do with my life. I'm not being lazy or trying to avoid the expenses of an extra semester, I just don't think I'll enjoy it, ever use it, or feel comfortable in physics. Just like a trans person might not need that extra surgery, hormone, or behavior change. It's not for them. (As a cisgender person, I would appreciate feedback on this argument from transfolk....)
Breaking the binary isn't solely about fitting back into it. In general, trans identities are about being born into the wrong body or socially assigned identity. Well, what if the body you identify with doesn't fit in either of the gender boxes our society accepts? What if they both feel wrong? Should people's goal be "assimilation," as Bruce suggests?
Next, I want to talk about Bruce's suggestion to break up socio-political movements for change.
Split up? Break into smaller identity-based groups? Why are gender identity issues (QTI) and sexual orientation issues (LGBA) lumped into the same acronym? Because they're both dealing with society's perceptions of who individuals should be based on gender stereotypes. Our greatest gender socialization is to be attracted to someone of the "opposite sex." So there is definitely overlap in the issues these identity groups face.
In struggles for women’s equality, lesbian women were integral to progress. However, their needs were often swept under the rug in an effort to encourage assimilative acceptance from those in power- straight men. They had to jump one hurdle at a time. Same here- Bruce says that Lesbians and Gays have been fighting for their rights for a long time and deserve them now… Transfolk can wait.
Well I’m pretty sure that the Lesbian activists of the 1960s and 70s didn’t like it when they were told to wait. Why should Transfolk have to wait? Why are their needs inferior to those of the more socially recognized groups? Why have LG and sometimes B rights been fought for longer than the Ts? Because the groups that have been able to fight longer have had more privilege of voice to fight with. That means that Lesbians couldn’t speak up as much during the women’s rights movement because it wasn’t safe. Now, Transfolk can’t fight as openly because it isn’t as safe, as say, for a white man who’s gay.
Let’s look at safety for a sec: This data on murders of Transfolk is from 2004. (These are only the ones that were reported.)
Shot: 128 Stabbed: 70 Beaten: 49 “Murdered” (no cause specified): 45 Strangled: 22. There are 20 additional causes. 22 individuals died from multiple causes.
The 2007 National School Climate Survey found: 85.1% of transgender students reported being verbally harassed based on their sexual orientation and gender/gender expression
96.1% of students heard negative comments related to students’ gender expression
38.4% of students reported feeling unsafe at school because of their gender expression.
From GLSEN’s 2007 National School Climate Survey
Transfolk need legal protection now more than ever. No one should get left behind or denied equality, especially from folks struggling for the same recognition. We’re all in it for the same reasons- rights and respect.
Third, Bruce makes the point that if Transfolk are grouped with LGB-identified people, the general public will assume that LGB people all want to transition to another gender. If you really didn’t have any prejudice against transfolk, then why would you see this ignorant assumption as a bad thing? Also, I’m pretty sure he completely ignores bisexuals in his arguments, too.
Then he says the “transgendered” community needs to educate people about the misconceptions of their identity. Let’s break this one down with an example: choose your most valued identity. Got it? Now, what’s one misconception people have about that identity? Now, what Bruce is saying, is that it is your job to go out and educate every person about your most valued identity- one that you are emotionally connected to and tired of defending. This would be exhausting, emotionally draining, and people would probably tell you you’re just flaunting it or pessimistic or angry all the time. Maybe that sounds like a challenge to you, but maybe it sounds scary. Either way, you’ll need people to back you up- allies.
We’ve got to be allies for each other. We can’t just be selfish and have our own interests at heart. Either we’re all equal or we’re not. Splitting up the LGBA and the QTI means that LGBA folks might get to be more equal with straight people, but it certainly doesn’t mean equality for everyone.
Bruce suggests that these communities fight for their rights separately and once they’re equal they can be rejoined into one community, “the human race.” Until then, he says, they need to be separate. Really? How is this logical?
I understand that lumping a bunch of different identities under one umbrella confuses people about the differences between gender identity and sexual orientation. But that just means they need a little education. Separate is not equal and being divisive won’t help anyone in the long run.
