to join (yourself) with another person, group, etc., in order to get or give support

Ever since my roommate brought her TV to our apartment we've begun a nightly ritual. At 10pm we turn on Comedy Central for the Daily Show and watch straight on through the Colbert Report and @Midnight. I've never before followed this weekday lineup, but it's quickly becoming something I look forward to. We all have our favorite parts, and I'm definitely partial to the interviews (though the puns are a very close second ^.^). This past Tuesday, Stephen Colbert interviewed Janet Mock, an advocate for trans women and author of the New York Times bestseller  Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More. Watching the interview, I immediately began composing a PfP blog post about the effect of satire on social justice education. While this topic is hasn't gotten any less interesting, researching Janet Mock brought up feelings on allyship that were much more immediate. (I encourage everyone to watch the Colbert interview anyway here).

Before Ms. Mock was on the Colbert Report she appeared in two controversial segments on Piers Morgan Tonight. The first segment can be seen here where she was interviewed about her memoir and her life as a trans woman. In the interview Piers Morgan repeatedly mentioned that she "was born a boy" and focused most of the interview on the experience of her transition. Portraying to Mr. Morgan that everything went well in the studio, Ms. Mock later used twitter to express her disappointment of the sensationalist treatment of her story and of Morgan's misgendering her. With Mock's tweet came a torrent of backlash against Morgan from her supporters. Piers Morgan fought back, also via twitter, and eventually invited her back to the show. 

"Come back on my show again tonight @janetmock and let's debate my supposed 'offensiveness' live on air."

Rather than pointing fingers at who was right and who was wrong, this second segment is what I really want to talk about. Piers Morgan starts the interview by defending himself, citing his support for "gay rights, gay marriage rights, and transgender rights" and asks Janet Mock to explain "why I've had to go through this" ("this" being the twitter "abuse"). And then he proceeds to defend himself for another minute and a half (an extraordinary amount of time in the 8 second sound bite world of TV) before he lets her answer. The rest of the interview goes downhill from there. It's obvious that Morgan is way more interested in defending his position than listening to Mock, repeating the same statements again and again regardless of what Janet Mock is actually saying. This tweet of his nicely summarizes his portion of the interview: 

"As for all the enraged transgender supporters, look at how STUPID you're being. I'm on your side, you dimwits. @janetmock"

Ever since I started my social justice journey I've learned about taking up space. I've learned that to be an ally to any community is to let that community speak for themselves. They get to define their goals, their needs, and their direction because these are choices that will affect their lives, not yours. I've learned that to be a good ally is to listen and to watch the amount of space you're taking up. I've always loved the idea of listening; I tend to be a quiet person that likes to collect different perspectives and I would think that the most pertinent perspectives in being an ally are those for whom you are showing support. After all, they're the ones who either feel supported by you or don't. 

Now, I understand that everyone makes mistakes, and it's important to accept those mistakes with grace. What could have been a teachable moment ended in a verbal sparing match that was very difficult to watch. Honestly, what struck me most about the interview was Morgan's insecurity. He was so worried about his reputation as an ally that he let his relationship with the transgender community deteriorate. In other words, he was so worried about losing his 'ally card' that he embodied the exact opposite of what an ally represents, or as Merriam Webster defines, "to join (yourself) with another person, group, etc., in order to get or give support".   

To read up on Janet Mock and her work here is a link to her website.

A critique on the new show "Looking"

I have to admit, when I saw the first episode of "Looking" (the new HBO hit) I was a bit confused by what the screen writers were going for. There was a lot of hype that this would be a "different" look into the queer world with more characters of color. I was actually thrown aback from the first episode. It actually showed more people of color or in this case Latino men being side caste by Jonathan Groff character Patrick and Murray Bartlet character Dom. For me it created the same repetitive sidekick where people of color were strong side leads and not the main focus. I thought this was going to be about people of color, not about a white man trying to find himself a person of color to date to prove a point. This only reinforces the idea that people of color can only play parts that are not main leads. While Jonathan Groff has a great career ahead of him, it pains me to see the story situate itself around him for the first episode. While I am unsure how the other characters air time will be calculated I wish they had shown them more. I still long for a TV show that can showcase all different types of queer people of color existing and tackling issues of structural oppression that they face every day. If there was a TV show that centered on Trans* and gender non-conforming folks having to deal with day to day oppression it would be great. It would be even better to see them make a created family in which grounds them and keeps them together and moving in this racist, sexist, homophobic, classist etc. world. That would be a TV show that I could totally see myself in.

         However, the other "main" characters are people of color who are both Latino and are going through a time in their relationship were being in an open relationship is new to them. I find this comforting to see that this is being discussed in a major network, because honestly in my circle of friends it is not talked about. It's not like being in an open relationship is bad, it just isn't the "norm" in many cases within my circle of friends (including myself). I believe that with many states being able to pass gay marriage laws, the LG community are straying away from open relationships and moving towards being monogamous. Even Jonathan's character battles with this issue with his friend when they discuss what is happening in their "open" relationship. I put the open in quotation marks because form the show it shows that one of the characters is more willing to be in an open relationship and it was never consented that this was happening. It becomes painstakingly clear that this is the direction in which the LG community is heading. I find this more to deal with conforming to hetero-normative acts. I believe that being in a healthy open relationship that is consented from both parties is a great way to deconstruct the hetero-normative oppression’s that is placed on QPOC folks. I do believe that going toward a more monogamous relationship is not bad, but for the folks who are committed to staying in one not to lose your identity in the process of assimilating to this hetero-normative society. 

Persisting Petro

Feminism VS. the Patriarchy: Examining Rape, Sexual Assault, and Gender Violence

There are many misguided people who think that women use feminism as a medium to express their hatred for men. People who think that the goal of feminism is to wage a war on men. This is not true and I am so tired of having to explain this to people. We live in a patriarchal society, where women are dominated by men on a daily basis in various realms: sexuality, the household, male-on-female violence (rape culture & victim blaming), paid employment, cultural institutions, and the state. Misogyny, coupled with sexism, run rampant in our communities, and consequently women are silenced and subordinated, and women-identified values are denigrated. What does this mean or look like, some people may ask?

            Rape, sexual assault, and gender violence are not only women’s issues because sexual violence happens to people, not genders. However, a majority of women experience sexual assault, and these numbers grow dangerously larger within already marginalized communities. Did you know that one out of every three women worldwide will be physically, sexually, or otherwise abused during her lifetime with rates reaching 70 percent in some countries? Not only do we live in a society where "one sex" (MALE) is thought to be intrinsically superior to a person of the "other sex" (FEMALE), social constructs of gender, male and female, are the ONLY types of gender identity that are seen as "real" or "valid". Did you know that trans women, especially trans women of color, are the most vulnerable to police brutality and violence? Trans women of color are often involved in or presumed to be involved in the sex work industry; it is in and around these places that these women are often assaulted. Systems of oppression like racism, laws like the criminalization of sex work, economic forces like poverty and gentrification are forces at play when it comes to violence against trans women.

So now: instead of pointing women out as cruel/hateful and “out to get men”, what can men (PEOPLE) do to support women and the fight against rape, sexual assault, and gender violence? Sexualized violence against women does not just affect women. It affects the people who care about them, their families, their friends, their coworkers, and their communities. Join the movement to end the violence; join the feminist movement!  Feminists are people, not genders, who recognize the validity of women’s own interpretations of their lived experience and needs and acknowledge the values women publicly claim as their won in assessing their societal status relative to men; they exhibit consciousness and awareness of, discomfort at, or even anger over institutionalized injustice or inequity toward women as a group by men as a group in a given society; AND they advocate the eliminating of that injustice by challenging, through efforts to alter prevailing ideas and/or social institutions and practices, the power, force, or authority that upholds male prerogatives in that particular culture. Patriarchy, rather than rape culture, causes rape. And yes, feminism may seek to inherently undermine (and destroy) the patriarchy and I’m crossing my fingers that sooner than later, it will. This isn't about a war on men, it's a war on the patriarchy, rape culture, misogny, and sexism. 

 Sources read~~~~

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/25/wilson-cruz-janet-mock-melissa-harris-perry-transgender_n_2948341.html?utm_hp_ref=transgender

http://womenthrive.org/issues/violence

Stop Policing The Bathroom: Coy Mathis

The gender binary is a form of hierarchy and oppression.  Rather than uniting the human race, it divides us into two “distinct” groups. Many cisgender people take it for granted on a daily basis, as they are inherently socialized to do so. Trans* people, however, live in a culture that is vehemently ruled by the gender binary and are subject to a daily battle. 

I recently read an article by Andrea Rael, provided by Huffington Post, in which she discussed the experience of transgender first-grader, Coy Mathis, whose elementary school administration decided to stop letting her use the girls’ bathroom. The rationale? The school “took into account not only Coy but other students in the building, their parents, and the future impact a boy with male genitals using a girls’ bathroom would have as Coy grew older.” The schools decision to forgo mediation with Mathis has stirred up debate over anti-discrimination laws.

Colorado is actually one of sixteen states across the country that has an anti-discrimination law that protects transgender people. This means no discrimination, even in the public school space. Moreover, the laws implications allow for a transgender person to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity. Coy's school does not seem to agree, and they continue to argue that the Colorado law is unclear. Should I call their bluff? 

According to Rael, Mathis had been attending Eagleside Elementary School in Fountain, Colorado since 2011. The school had initially been supportive of Coy. Only recently in January of this year did the school confront Mathis and her family with the bathroom issue. Her parents decided they would temporarily pull her out school and home school her until the school acknowledged the seriousness of her case.

According to the article, Mathis’s parents have been supportive of her decisions and they have worked to be patient and understanding with her throughout the process. Although they did initially think she was going through a phase, further research and professional advice told them that they needed to support her and how she was. None of my trans* friends had early intervention or parents that were as supportive as Coy’s parents seem to be from an early age. I am affected by this piece because I have heard how complicated and scary the process can be and I wish that if not strangers then parents, atleast, would trust their trans* child. Trust that they know themselves better than anybody else. This is not a phase. This is real life. To hell with cisgender privilege--this is your kid we are talking about. 

At the tender age of six, Coy is in the prime of her formative years, and being able to use the girls’ bathroom is a crucial part of her identity development. Why? Because it is helping her affirm that people know she is a girl. The coming out process is tricky and nerve-wracking. And parental support and backing makes such a big difference. In this case, the Mathis parents filed a complaint against Fountain-Fort Carson School District 8 through the Colorado Civil Rights Division in February. Their goal is to convince the school to change its stance, which would allow Coy and future trans* students to use the bathroom corresponding with their gender identity. Yes, we are arguing about things as “base” as using the bathroom. But, this is where our gender binary system, coupled with heterosexism, has left us today. 



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/19/coy-mathis-colo-transgend_n_2910066.html

I've been avoiding writing about Agnes Torres Sulca for almost a month now.  For those of you who don't know, Agnes Torres was a Trans* activist in Puebla, Mexico who was found murdered on March 10.  Her Twitter account is active until the day of her disappearance, with a link to an interview she did being the final post.  Agnes was a psychologist, an activist, and an academic.  She was one of the most prominent advocates for Queer people in Mexico, and Mexican authorities went from writing off her death as a crime of passion to stating that the motive behind her murder was the theft of her car, not hatred, not transphobia.


[Agnes Torres Sulca]

I didn't want to write about this because I didn't want to add to the perception that Trans* people, especially Trans* women, are all victims.  I didn't want to add to that narrative and that perspective, especially if other Trans* people are going to internalize it.  There's a strong belief that to be Trans* is to be completely powerless, to be dependent on some cisperson for support through our lives, and that's shown in just about every representation of a Trans* person that I can think of.  Every movie, almost every book, I think with the exception of Leslie Feinberg's "Drag King Dreams", has us crying to and leaning on some tolerant cisperson who sits by and listens.  

The fact is that Trans* people are being killed and no one seems to care.  We're being killed directly, through knives and guns and fists, and we're being killed indirectly, by being denied houses, medical care, and jobs.  And sadly, that's never far from my mind.  The fact that almost half the names I read in online obituaries are Latin@ names, that half the bodies and faces shown during Trans* Day of Remembrance belong to someone who looks like me doesn't help.  And their ages, nineteen, twenty-three, twenty-five, twenty-eight, only add to the weight in my chest.  It doesn't look like people like me make it to thirty.

So here is the point at which, you, cispeople, are supposed to start doing something.  One of our assignments in Peers for Pride was to interview people on being what being a good ally means, and I received several responses that were simply "Being there for my friend to talk to".  Let me make this abundantly clear: that is not being an ally, that merely is being a decent friend.  If you want to be an ally to Trans* people, if you consider yourself an ally to Trans* people you're going to have to start doing more than the bare minimum, because for us it comes down to a matter of life and death.  You need to create spaces for us, to begin with.  You need to give us a part in communities and in families.  This is the first step.  Trans* people need places to organize and places to create.

Those of you who organize, on any level, need to realize that Trans* people are not some abstraction, not some target population for another group or social worker, we are part of your community!  We share your struggles against racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, and we need voices in those spaces and those movements.  And we need you to start using your voices to help us.  We are strong, we are capable, but we are few and we are scattered, we need as much help with our struggle as we can get.

And to Trans* people: we need to unite.  There is no other option.  We need to fight for and work for one another, we need to work on loving one another, because without that we are simply a group of people who share marginalizations and medical histories.  It is my sincere belief that Trans* people, all Trans* people, have a responsibility to create a Trans* community and to do everything they can to advance this community, because failure to do so will result in more deaths, more violence, and less hope.

And neither cispeople nor Trans*people should be allowed to forget those who have passed on.  They are more than faces to be gawked at during a memorial service, or names to be read in a litany at Day of Remembrance, they are a part of our family, they were sisters, brothers, siblings, lovers, and they deserve at the very least the justice that every human being deserves.  Never let us forget that, and never let us forget them.

To my fellow Trans* people of color,

                You are brilliant, beautiful, and incredible.  Not that you need to be reminded, just that it’s not a message we get a lot and I want to add it to the world as often as I can.

                And I think you can help me with that.  See, thirty years ago Audre Lorde wrote that poetry is not a luxury in an essay that outlined the importance of writing in our daily lives.  You should look it up, like all of her writing.  I guarantee you’ll love it, because few writers or activists have shown the sheer love in their work and ideology that Lorde has.  Anyway, her point was that we must create and find beauty in our daily lives, even in the most mundane aspects.  This is something we as Trans* people of color need to do both as a community and as individuals.

                We need to begin to define who we are if we are going to organize and move ourselves forward, and one of the easiest ways to do this is by writing poetry.  Creating and performing poetry is possibly the most basic way of creating a united community that has existed for as long as human beings have, and contributes to the development of a culture and a shared identity.  Take a moment and think about how our writing—your writing—could shape TPOC culture and consciousness.  While we have a history,  a long and powerful one, the writings that are most influential, those from the Seventies and Nineties are in many aspects as removed from our lives as the white, straight, cis narratives that pervade this country’s culture today.  There is an undeniable need for something that defines us now, in a time when the world is constantly changing and being redefined.  

Also, I know that in my own case I need a vent for all the frustration and the fury I feel when I confront oppression, in any way I might be doing it.  Poetry can be a creative outlet for that, and can give us, a group of people who are never given the opportunity to speak for themselves, a powerful voice.  Only we can outline the full extent of our experiences, and we need to do so.  Not for others, not for the media that has misrepresented us or the communities that have marginalized us, but for ourselves.  For those of us who are just beginning their journey as a Trans* person, and for those of us who are isolated from a welcoming space.

                Even more than expressing all the rage we must stifle in our daily lives, we must show our beauty.  To portray the inner and outer beauty of our community is one of the most revolutionary things we can do, and one of the most fundamental for us to create a strong community.  Nothing remotely close to this exists, certainly not as a cohesive consciousness toward writing.  There are some poems online and in Trans* history, but these things are few and scattered.  That leaves it to us to add to this body of work and to make a space for our community to thrive and create spiritually and emotionally.  These writings can be our love note to one another in a world that has no positive messages for us, they can counter every stereotype, every internalized bit of transphobia, and replace them with strength and self-confidence.

Our words can and will carry power that no one has ever seen before, they can create bonds between us that will never be broken.  In my life I know that loneliness and a sense of alienation were some of the biggest struggles I faced, and I know that this is the case for many Trans* people.  I firmly believe that when we begin to represent ourselves, when we work to find one another, this situation will end and the TPOC movement will finally begin.   

                 Todo mi amor,

Sam Andazola

The more work I do in Queer and QTPOC communities the more I realize there is a need to go over the basics of social justice.  Without an understanding of the dynamics working between the various groups that live under the Queer umbrella, and the history that created these dynamics, it is not possible to advance the state of our community.

This ranges from an understanding of intersectionality to an understanding of the effects each action taken by the community has in other communities.  It is easy for many people to prioritize one identity over another, or to develop a view of social justice that places Queerness as the most important issue.  This must be changed if the wounds in our community, those caused by decades of erasure, silencing, and exclusion, are ever to be healed.  These wounds are not some abstraction from our lives, occupying the realm of theory, nor are they historical facts that no longer have any impact; they affect us all at one point.  They are present in the Gay clubs that cater to a white crowd, they are obvious in organizations that lack Trans people, and they reign in spaces that have been created to be open to everyone yet find themselves dominated by a single group.  An understanding of power and privilege, the foundation of all social justice work, can easily explain these circumstances and that is the first step in altering them.

This process is long and difficult, there is no denying that.  Deciding to embark on this path requires a kind of self-reflection different from any other, because you will find parts of yourself that you will embrace and other parts of yourself you will want to despise.  Maybe authors like Audre Lorde or bloggers like Caroline Narby, who writes “Double Rainbow”, and s.e. smith, who runs “This Ain’t Livin’”, will make you aware of privilege you didn’t realize that you carried, and that is always the most demanding part of this process.  I believe that this stage is what causes many people to shy away from this work, because the acknowledgement of privilege can cause guilt and shame, but it is something that is necessary to undertake.

 But don’t worry too much, there is another half to this process that includes finding a community and a history you didn’t realize you were a part of.  Maybe you’ll find a home in Gloria Anzaldua’s “Borderlands”, or with the Crunk Feminist Collective; maybe you didn’t know about people like Sass Sasot, a Transwoman in the Philippines who created the first Trans organization in that country, or Adelina Anthony, a Chicana Lesbian whose plays celebrate the fierceness of Queer Latin@s, but you will find them and many others as you dig deeper into social justice. 

This is not an attempt to call anyone out, this is me asking for your help.  In the current political climate, every marginalized community is facing a struggle different from any that has come before, and it is my belief that if we do not unite we will not be successful in fighting this oppression.  It is also my belief that Queer people have a responsibility to each other and the greater community to educate themselves on the multitude of issues that affect the different parts of our community, even, and I would say especially, if it is not an issue that affects you personally.  

Transgender Flight Attendants, YEA/NAY

PC Air, an airline out of Thailand, announced in December that they had hired four transwomen in their latest hiring batch, along with twenty-six cis attendents of both genders. Additionally, they publicly announced their pro-trans hiring policies. They released a new commercial that features a little boy walking up some stairs and becoming a beautiful adult woman who appears to be a pageant queen, who then morphs into one of their attendants in uniform on a plane:


While I find it hard to be critical of any kind of publicly pro-trans hiring, I’m skeptical of both the airline’s motivations, and their implementation so far.

Especially with the commercial, this seems more like an exploitative publicity stunt than a well-informed attempt to overcome discrimination. I don’t know what their standards are for the appearance of flight attendants in general (though they do hire men as well), but I couldn’t help notice that all the trans employees look like cisgender super models. They’re hardly representative of trans folks in general.

The airline is also having them all wear nametags that identify them as “third gender,” a policy that is othering and disrespectful. They should have the ability to choose whatever gender identification they want, whether that include mention of their transness or not. It’s basically forcing them to be out to every stranger on the plane, at all times. That’s a hostile, potentially very stressful work environment, and may actually put these women in danger. Thailand has historically been more accepting of gender variance than other countries, but a high possibility for harassment (or worse) remains by forcing these women to be out to complete strangers.

And, as always, I find myself very irritated when people do the basic minimum of human dignity and expect (and often receive!) cookies and accolades and praise. Hiring four transwomen, forcing them to be out and othered at all times, and exploiting these employees to prove how progressive you are does not an ally make.

Sources: http://www.bilerico.com/2011/01/
thai_airline_recruits_transwomen_as_flight_attendants.php

http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2011/12/15/
Thai_Airline_Hires_Transgender_Flight_Attendants/