Scholastic Research on the QPOC community

In the coming weeks, I'll be completing a grad school level research project as part of the NASPA Undergraduate Fellows Program. My research topic is on how Queer People of Color navigate their identities in various social setting such as racial spaces, queer spaces, the classroom and professional settings.  Before I could conduct my own research, I had to find and review the literature that was already out there. What I found both surprised me and didn't surprise me.

I FOUND ALMOST NOTHING!

This surprised me because I found all these articles on intersectionality, but all of it was in terms of race and gender. I found maybe one article that threw sexual orientation in the mix. And for gender identity, it was all binary. It didn't surprise me because when you think about it, queer people of color are often not the focus of any movement. They sit in a space that people tend to forget about. I've noticed that a lot of times it's an either/or type situation; never a both. The fight for "gay" rights focuses on white people and the fight against racism focuses on heterosexual people. With this being my observation, I'm not surprised that people aren't studying the QPOC community. 

This makes me really upset that I don't have the time to publish the research I'm doing this semester. I found two articles total that touched on the QPOC community and one was about a legal case. I'm super interested in how QPOC navigate their identities because there can be a lot of homophobia & heterosexism in the racial spaces and a lot of racism in queer spaces. Personally, I feel like I have to pick and choose my identities depending on the space I'm in. And even when doing so, I still feel like the identity I'm suppressing is even more visible because I'm constantly thinking about if I'm showing it. 

It gets lonely when you feel like you can't fully connect with a group of people. In one of my classes, we watched Marlon Riggs's "Black Is, Black Ain't." I first watched this documentary in my Black Queer Literature and Film class. After seeing it again and seeing some of the quotes made by many prominent black figures only made it clearer that there is still a ton of homophobia in the black community. I also read an article for my project that referenced the film and it gave some clarity to these statements. It said that there is a strong sense of homophobia (especially towards black gay males) because black men have to be hyper masculine; they've been emasculated for so much of history that anything deviating from this is wrong and detrimental to the cause. 

Agree or disagree if you may, this puts queer people of color in a sticky situation. They can't fully identify with their racial community nor can they fully identify with the queer community. This is why I'm doing the research I'm doing. Intersectionality, in my opinion, is the when two identities combine to create a new and unique experience for an individual. Queer people of color have to live with the intersections of race and sexual orientation and/or gender identity. I'm excited to see what I find and hopefully I'll be able to add to the literature out there so that further down the line, it's not as difficult for people to look up research on Queer people of color and people will want to.

The more work I do in Queer and QTPOC communities the more I realize there is a need to go over the basics of social justice.  Without an understanding of the dynamics working between the various groups that live under the Queer umbrella, and the history that created these dynamics, it is not possible to advance the state of our community.

This ranges from an understanding of intersectionality to an understanding of the effects each action taken by the community has in other communities.  It is easy for many people to prioritize one identity over another, or to develop a view of social justice that places Queerness as the most important issue.  This must be changed if the wounds in our community, those caused by decades of erasure, silencing, and exclusion, are ever to be healed.  These wounds are not some abstraction from our lives, occupying the realm of theory, nor are they historical facts that no longer have any impact; they affect us all at one point.  They are present in the Gay clubs that cater to a white crowd, they are obvious in organizations that lack Trans people, and they reign in spaces that have been created to be open to everyone yet find themselves dominated by a single group.  An understanding of power and privilege, the foundation of all social justice work, can easily explain these circumstances and that is the first step in altering them.

This process is long and difficult, there is no denying that.  Deciding to embark on this path requires a kind of self-reflection different from any other, because you will find parts of yourself that you will embrace and other parts of yourself you will want to despise.  Maybe authors like Audre Lorde or bloggers like Caroline Narby, who writes “Double Rainbow”, and s.e. smith, who runs “This Ain’t Livin’”, will make you aware of privilege you didn’t realize that you carried, and that is always the most demanding part of this process.  I believe that this stage is what causes many people to shy away from this work, because the acknowledgement of privilege can cause guilt and shame, but it is something that is necessary to undertake.

 But don’t worry too much, there is another half to this process that includes finding a community and a history you didn’t realize you were a part of.  Maybe you’ll find a home in Gloria Anzaldua’s “Borderlands”, or with the Crunk Feminist Collective; maybe you didn’t know about people like Sass Sasot, a Transwoman in the Philippines who created the first Trans organization in that country, or Adelina Anthony, a Chicana Lesbian whose plays celebrate the fierceness of Queer Latin@s, but you will find them and many others as you dig deeper into social justice. 

This is not an attempt to call anyone out, this is me asking for your help.  In the current political climate, every marginalized community is facing a struggle different from any that has come before, and it is my belief that if we do not unite we will not be successful in fighting this oppression.  It is also my belief that Queer people have a responsibility to each other and the greater community to educate themselves on the multitude of issues that affect the different parts of our community, even, and I would say especially, if it is not an issue that affects you personally.  

Working Definitions

I have spent this semester barely alive beneath a pile of, amongst other things, dense books and heavy course packets. While there were many nights when I thought I was going to literally have to splash water beneath my eyes to read just one more page, the majority of the reading has turned out to be incredibly important. I’m on a journey, dear reader, and a lot of the words I’ve been reading have really helped me. I have to say that the first day of class is always pretty intense – mainly because I receive a pile of syllabuses and, immediately, my four-month panic attack begins.

I’m ending my third year, and particularly this semester, at UT, as a new person. I have never before had the kind of happiness that I have now. It’s funny because I have been endlessly busy this semester. I thought there was absolutely no possibility I could digest anything anymore and would just have to somehow slide by in these last few days of school.

Well, I was wrong. Last week I read an essay by bell hooks entitled, “Black Women: Shaping Feminist Theory.” While gulping down a ridiculously large URN of espresso, I must say my entire perspective changed. I have identified as a feminist since my first semester at this school, and everything following has been a journey toward wrapping that identity tighter and tighter around my heart. Never before this had I really understood the extent of my privilege and the amount of work ahead of me in my life. I am a radical feminist. Radical feminism is not just about equal pay or sneakily inserting women in higher government positions. It is about changing the entire way the world has been built. There is an intersectionality so much larger than I had ever thought. Now it is impossible to ignore. I imagine a summer reading more bell hooks, re-reading Audre Lorde’s Sister Outsider and Gloria Anzaldúa’s Borderlands, finally taking the suggestion from my friend, Ambalika, to read Angela Davis. I once defined feminism just as equality among all gender identities. What I should have said was that it is a full circle understanding of the way each person connects to the next, never doubting the validity of someone’s experience and never claiming it as my own, working to break apart all of the things that have been build to push out other people or take advantage of them.

Sigh. It’s a working definition. It gets bigger every damn second.

I began this blog planning on defining feminism and explaining that is larger than I ever thought it was, but instead I’ve just decided to let whatever comes to me flow out. Big dramatic words? I know. Trust me, I feel that way, too. But isn’t it beautiful? How much there is to still learn and talk about? I remember the time in my life where thinking about having to do more work to understand myself sounded exhausting and impossible. I remember an emptiness I always thought would be permanent. Looks like it’s been filled up – at least a little bit more than before. That feeling of dread is no longer there. I have never been as excited as I am about the journey ahead of me.

Journeys like this need full support. And I must say that while I have had support for this entire journey, the past year has presented a new type of support. Once a week, for three hours, I am surrounded by people I love. We are somehow all able to hold one another up. The last class day of Peers for Pride is only a few days away. Yes, there will be tears. Way too many tears… I will try my hardest to keep myself under control, but I will be partially unsuccessful. You know, a big slobbering mess. But the thing is, any idea or fear I had that my spirit would end once Peers for Pride ended, is gone. I have so much ahead of me. All I want to do is learn and grow. One big part of my life recently has been learning how far support systems can stretch. I can say whole-heartedly that I am one of luckiest people in the world. My support system has stretched further than I had ever predicted and will never break.

There is a wave of love always rolling over me.