Thursday, March 10, 2011

the Bi Closet

no, this is not a crude nickname for Tila Tequila's genitals, it is something a lot less talked about. For a lot of queers, the bi closet is more of a corridor from the (gay/lesbian) closet to the out, open and hopefully proud world of happiness and glitter. For some, ITS A MYTH! because bisexuality doesn't really exist, and is usually used as an excuse to love queerly but maintain straight-world privileges. For me, however, its the closet that I'm in right now, and its not really a bad place, but its kinda sucky.

I came out of the gay closet the summer of my freshman year of high school. It was rocky at first, but afterward it was AMAZING! My awesome parents worked to understand and accept me fully. I opened up and made tons of friends and met my boyfriend. I was THE proud gay guy and life was good.
*fast forward to college*
College is a time for self discovery and soul-searching. I was working in a bakery at the time, and one day, while day-dreaming and packaging cookies, I took a once-every-few-years self-analysis and came to the conclusion that I like girls too....I find them attractive....and it isn't the most far fetched idea that I could possibly, one day, in Theory Land be involved with one.....WHAT!?!?
But I'm the Proud Gay Guy....I already came out of the closet....I felt so welcomed and loved in the gay community, I'M IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER BOY FOR GAGA'S SAKE!

Thanks to Peers for Pride, I've come to own my bisexuality on a personal level. I've also come to learn (via p4p) that non-monosexuality is a better umbrella term for bisexuality, but that's another blog and mind-f*$&&^*%$ for another day.

Now, for the reasons the bi-closet is 'sucky;'
FIRST is that that ALL closets are sucky. They force their inhabitants to hide themselves and build fears and worries of the 'out' world.

Second, here come the sex maniac images from both queers and heteros. The idea that all bisexuals are nymphomaniacs who cannot seem to be satisfied with a single set of parts. Its almost too embarrassing to come out to friends or dates for this reason.
THIRD, it seems that we're disowned by the lesbian/gay communities once we come out as bisexual. I suppose due the tension towards straight people and queers, it seems that 'BI' labels you as tainted with straight blood (the enemy's blood!) and all of sudden you're booted off of Fire Island.
FINALLY, the straight community automatically deems you Gay. just gay. totally negating the beautifully complex composition of wants, thoughts, expressions and desires that separate bisexuals from both the gay and straight community and make us special.

That's just what we are though, special. Special in that we can see beyond the limiting (for some) borders of gender (and gender expression) and see the person for their spirits and souls a little quicker and easier. Special in our combination of alternative and familiar. Special in that we can experience the best of both worlds,

yet unfortunate in that we get labeled with the what some name the worst.

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